Honor to Paris-Roubaix : A couple ways you can honor The Hell of the North too

Yesterday I paid my respects to The Hell of the North in my own way.  For those who don't know, the Hell of the North is a more formally known as Paris-Roubaix and is a cycling road race known for it's many sections of cobbled and muddy roads.  It's taking place today. In fact it might be over by the time you read this but as I said I paid my respects to the race yesterday and you can too. All you need is a handful of this :

yes it's gravel

and one of these 

a driveway

or just the street.

This is how it's done.  Get all dressed up in your cycling clothes. Toss the gravel on the driveway (not to all-over since you're probably going to have to sweep it up).  Climb on your road bike. Ride through the gravel. Hop off the bike and go inside to enjoy the rest of the day!  

The next way takes a little more effort or premeditation.  If you've seen a cobbled driveway or sidewalk near your home then just spin over to it and quickly ride across it so that no one notices that you're trespassing.

 Respects paid to the race and you can go home or enjoy a normal ride.  If you're lucky you might even have a cobbled road (I know there are some in Pittsburgh) or public with cobbled sections.  I don't recommend this second method or trespassing.

Ok so I didn't do either of these but I thought about them as I road.  I did ride through a short section (a mile) of gravel on my ride yesterday.  This is probably the best route to take if you have the time and sturdy tires and wheels.  If you are going to do this just remember to stay seated if you have to do go uphill at all in gravel.  If you stand your rear wheel is very likely to just spin and kick up rocks.  This is bad.  Leave your weight on the seat and suffer.  Better yet don't go uphill at all if you're not into torture.  

On the subject of torture or self torture I have come to the conclusion that cyclists (or any athletes for that matter) are at least a little masochistic.  I actually never thought about this doing any other sport except cycling so I relate this more to cycling than anything else.  Completing a hundred mile ride earlier this year for the first time which included a five mile strip of hilly gravel secured this conclusion in my mind.  When all was done I told my wife I had fun.  And I'm still going back for more.  

I'm going back to bed.  Ride. Watch the Pros suffer today if you can while you rest or at least be amazed by their suffering after the race and all of the pictures of the muddy dirty riders come out.  www.cyclingnews.com is a good place to check out news and pics for cycling.

A Filter, Cough, and Power : How to Have More Energy While You Ride

I've been sick the past few days with a cyclingy nose and a slight sore throat but this has not kept me from riding.  I've mostly just been spinning inside but today I went out and about.  I have this baseless idea that if I exercise myself to death I will in turn make my body uninhabitable for any bacteria or virus that is causing me to feel lousy.  I do know that my sinuses clear up quite nicely by the end of my ride where 'er it may be.  The beginning of each ride though is most uncomfortable as was the case with today.

   I started out and was quickly reminded of my hindrances.  My nose allowing no air in as though clothes pinned shut and my throat felt like it has an air filter in it only it wasn't filtering grime from the air it was filtering air from the grime leaving me wheezing and coughing and grasping for air.  As I was so desperate for air my mouth was gaping open and a wide open mouth dying for air on a warm spring evening while many little friends are out and your traveling at 28-30+mph is a bad combination.  Yes. I got a little friend who should have traveled straight on down the tube stuck in the filter of my throat.  I have no problems swallowing a gnat.  It happens.  In fact racing cyclists on average swallow three to four times more bugs than your average person (just made that up, but it sounds good).  The problem here was that it just did not want to go down or up for that matter.  This left me coughing and hacking and nearly lung chucking for a mile and a half if not more.  All things, it seems, have their purpose.  On this day this gnats purpose was to lead me to discovery.  
   The first discovery was that I can ride with no air for a mile and a half if not more at a fairly slow pace.  The second discovery was that once the gnat went down I felt a better.  This may seem trivial but it has grounds.  You see as I explained to my wife, I was able to ride a bit quicker than usual after swallowing that gnat and the reason being is that I got a tiny shot of protein which boosted my energy for the remainder of the ride.  Do not forget if you need a little oomph during a ride, open your mouth and invite the protein bites to get that energy boost.

On very special occasions I take my favorite treat - a bag of Haribo Gold-Bears.
Interestingly enough the flavors are different in Russia than in the U.S.  This
is and image I think of German vs. U.S. Haribo Gold-Bears.  I don't care where
they're from. They're good. 

  Actually by the time I did get rid of the gnat I was all cleared up and able to ride at my normal pace.  And further more there are lots of good ways to keep your energy level high while riding.  It's called drinking and eating.  I always brink two 28 ounce bottles with me when I ride even if I know I won't be out long. 
I usually fill the bottle with Gatorade since it seems to give me that little extra that water does not i.e. sugar and those lovely electrolytes.  Plus from all the reading I've done it seems that Gatorade keep your body going quite well.  I've actually filled one bottle with a protein drink during a longer race.  I don't know if doing this has any positive research results but it  seemed like a good idea and I felt good during the race.  When your about to leave don't forget to bring that banana or something that will keep your body fueled.  Sometimes a short ride turns into a long one and then when you're towards the end of the ride you'll wish you had that sustenance in your back pocket.

a day late and a chance short : no dream bike for me this year

Bicycling Magazine has a contest each year in which one lucky contestant wins a bike.  The bike can be any of the bikes from their editor's choice edition as long as it's $5,000 or less!

This wasn't one of the options to win but I wouldn't mind spending my time riding one of these Diamondback Podium 7 with Sram Red. Notice the similarities with the bike-trike below.

  Don't mind if I do. I found out about this last year after the contest was over and have been waiting anxiously until now.  Now I will have to anxiously wait another year.  The entries were due yesterday the 8th and of course I remembered about it today the 9th.  Was I unprepared? No. 

   This year the contest was to write a parody in 150 words or less of one of the bloggers/writers for Bicycling.  You were supposed to read his blog and write a parody and you also had to send it in.  I did the reading and the writing but oops like a said it is now a day late.  I'm going to share my parody anyway.  You might have to read his blog to get where it's coming from but it's kind of cute in and by itself.  Here it is unedited (I didn't get around to trying to fix it much). 

Tolik’s Tipsy Trike Troubles

 

I would ride forever, but Ma makes me sleep.  My trike gets at least two miles a day.   I carry my bottle in mouth as I ride.  My parents think it’s cute but it’s necessity.  The walls blur as I spin around the kitchen island.  This is my island.  My cousin comes over sometimes to race but I know my route; each angle and stretch.  I swerve deep into each corner, release wide to maintain speed, drinking as I ride, and dive into another turn.  THUD!  The plastic tire smashes into a cupboard door flinging me into my handlebars and to the floor as my trike topples over.  I don’t feel the pain.  I pick up my bottle and take a sip of juice.  I take a step and collapse.  More juice will be my remedy.  Where did I find this bottle? Oh well, I ride again tomorrow. 

Keep spinning and thinking those cycling thoughts.